


Two Pieces of a Broken Heart

by babytobin_horse



Series: Nightingale [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 04:26:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babytobin_horse/pseuds/babytobin_horse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tobin's ready to sign her contract with PSG, but what about Alex?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Pieces of a Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by Demi Lovato's song. Listen if you think it will help.  
> http://soundcloud.com/newyfreshmusic/demi-lovato-two-pieces

“I thought you wanted this for me!” Tobin shouted in their small Portland home. She and Alex were in the living room, Alex on the couch with her arms crossed and Tobin standing up just a few feet away, looking at the younger girl.

“I do, Tobin, I want this for you,” Alex replied, not meeting her gaze.

“Then what’s the fucking problem?” Tobin asked, sighing in exasperation. She looked at her girlfriend, whose baby blue eyes wouldn’t look into hers. “You tell me you want this for me, but you get mad when it’s about to become official!” They remained in a heated silence until Tobin couldn’t take it any longer. “Babe, fucking talk to me!”

Alex had been on the verge of tears and was using every ounce of her strength to hold them back. She couldn’t believe this was happening. At the sound of Tobin screaming at her once more, she jumped up out of her chair, trying her hardest to choke back tears while looking at Tobin, who seemed angry and confused. “My fucking problem is that I love you!” she screamed. “I hate the distance between us when you go play for France, Tobs!”

“Why haven’t you stopped me?” Tobin asked, noticing the tears that were threatening to spill. She hoped they didn’t flow because if they did, Tobin herself would break.

“Because you’re happy playing over there,” Alex explained, softening a little and swallowing a lump in her throat. “I can tell you are. By the way you’re making new friends, the way when you’re just so happy whenever we talk on skype or phone calls…I can even see it by the way you act on the field when I watch you from home. You’re happy and I don’t want to mess with that.” It was the only thing that kept Alex back from begging her girlfriend not to stay in France. She didn’t want her to sign that contract, but if it brought better opportunities for her and she could be happy too, why wouldn’t she stop her?

“I’m happy with you, too,” Tobin stepped towards her. “I’m happy with the national team. I could be happy with the Thorns, if you just asked.”

“You seem happier over there,” Alex bite her lip before it all just spilled from her mouth. “I hate going to sleep every night without your arms around me in a bed that should be shared between us. I hate not waking up to your natural smell of the ocean, or just happy in your body warmth. I hate living in this place alone, but I know if I try to get someone else to stay with me it won’t be the same because that person isn’t you. I hate the ridiculous time difference we have to go through and I stay up watching your games. I hate how everything doesn’t seem right because you’re gone.”

“Don’t you think I feel the same way?” her girlfriend asked, frustrated. “I feel the exact same for all those things! I hate going to bed alone, without you to hold. I hate the distance, too. I hate how I keep you up when you should be sleeping. I just want you, but I don’t see why you don’t speak up about it!”

Alex resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she answered, “I love you and I don’t want to hold you back from doing what you love just because it’s not here with me! I don’t want to be a selfish girlfriend. I don’t want to be a bitch.” A single tear fell down her cheek, but Alex wiped it away immediately.

“It’s not being selfish if it’s what I want, too,” Tobin said softly.

“But you want to play in France, too!” Alex exclaimed, not understanding why Tobin didn’t get it. “You want both, and I don’t want to let opportunities pass by for you because you deserve better than that!”

“Come with me!” Tobin suggested, trying to figure out a solution to end all the yelling and crying.

“I can’t leave, Tobs,” Alex sighed, looking away. “France doesn’t want me and my home is here. I’m in the states. My heart’s split between my home and you.”

Tobin then realized the reason why Alex never stopped her from going to France, or from not signing her contract. It was like asking Alex to the Thorns, or asking her to leave the national team. She couldn’t do it, Alex was rooted right where she was.

“What if,” Alex’s voice broke Tobin out of her realization. “What if we weren’t meant to be?”

Tobin’s eyes flew to the young forward, hoping a smile or a laugh would come, but when nothing did, just the saddest look she’d ever seen in those eyes, she walked over to Alex, placing her hands firmly onto the slender girl’s hips. “Alexandra Patricia Morgan, don’t you ever say that. Don’t you dare. I know you were meant for me. God didn’t put you in my life for nothing. He put you’re here because He knows I need you.”

“But Tobin, I can’t be the reason you don’t sign that contract,” Alex croaked, leaning into Tobin though she knew what she needed was to get away from her.

Tobin leaned in, letting their foreheads meet. “I love you, and I don’t want to let you go.”

Alex couldn’t help her crying anymore, the tears were coming whether she wanted them to or not. “If you love something, let it go, and if it comes back, then it was always yours,” she managed to choke out.

Watching the girl she loved tell her to let go of what she loved the most, perhaps more than the beautiful game of soccer, killed her. “But Alex—“ She was cut off by Alex’s lips pressing against hers. It wasn’t a passionate kiss, rather a more soft, sad kiss that still made Tobin’s body melt. The lips she knew were so familiar, so comforting.

A few moments later, Alex pulled away, her voice held more rasp than usual as she whispered, “I’m going to call your Coach, and I’m going to tell her you’re signing that contract.”

Tobin knew Alex had made her mind, and there was nothing she could do about that, so she said the only thing she could. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Alex’s voice broke as she forced herself out of Tobin’s grip and reached the phone.

After the contract was signed, the two fell into a rhythm. Tobin had a week before she left for France and the two knew their end was coming soon. They spend every waking moment together. From the minute the woke up to the moment they fell asleep, they were always in each other’s company. And the number of “I love you” ‘s expressed was too many to count.

The night before Tobin left, she held Alex in her arms, taking in every inch of her, every scent. Alex had long since gone to sleep, but Tobin was wide awake. She looked down at the striker curled up in her arms. Her brunette hair surround hair angelic face. Her body curled up, but you could still tell she had a slender figure. Tobin was so thankful that her eyes were closed, because if she saw those eyes one more time, it would be enough to get her to call her Coach and call the contract off. She held in her tears as she leaned down and kissed Alex’s forehead. “I’ll always love you, please wait for me,” she whispered before drifting off to sleep.

As Alex’s senses came back to her as she woke up that morning, she didn’t need to open her eyes to know Tobin was gone. It was evident that the warmth that she was previously cocooned in was missing. There weren’t muscular, tan arms that held her in place. It all felt so wrong, as always, but this time it hurt more because she knew they wouldn’t be coming back soon. This caused Alex’s heart to ache and tears to fall as she opened her eyes to see the empty half of the bed. Tobin hadn’t wanted to take Alex to the airport because it would’ve been painful for the both of them. Alex was okay with this, but she wished she had one last moment with Tobin before she left.

As her eyes adjusted to the lightning, Alex found a note on Tobin’s side of the bed. Slowly, she reached over and opening it. Scrawled in Tobin’s writing was:

_I love you, baby horse. Please don’t forget that. I love you I love you I love you_

_-Tobin Powell Heath_

This caused Alex’s tears to flow faster and a sound of agony to escape her lips. She buried her face into the pillow, moaning Tobin’s name over and over. “Tobin…oh, Tobin…” She should’ve stopped her, but she couldn’t stop her from being happy and better career choices. “I love you too,” she croaked. “I love you, I love you.”

Her heart was torn in half. One piece was here with her, and the other with Tobin, on the way to France. Together, they made two pieces of a broken heart.


End file.
